Debunking 5 Baby Sleep Myths

Debunking the 5 Biggest Baby Sleep Myths

Okay, let’s set the record straight on the top 5 frequently discussed sleep myths.

Myth 1: Crying it out damages attachment

There is ZERO proof that sleep training causes insecure attachment.

What is attachment? It’s about being responsive to your baby’s needs, its formed constantly throughout the day as you feed, cuddle, smile, chat and support your baby helping them to feel loved, safe and knowing they can rely on you. The key is being responsive to baby’s needs!

When you change your baby’s diaper, do they cry? Mine definitely did, but I never worried about the impact of those tears on attachment because they NEED that diaper to be changed, its for their health. Sleep training is the same, because sleep is so important for our kids. A study published in Pediatrics found no long-term negative effects on a child’s emotional or behavioral health when parents used controlled crying for sleep training. Furthermore, this randomized controlled trial found no different between children who were sleep trained and those who weren't looking at cortisol, behavior and attachment. This means you give them time and space to practice independent sleep, but you are still in tune with their needs and responsive if they need a diaper change, a feed or some help as they are developing these new sleep skills. The key is ensuring your child feels loved and supported each and everyday, building a strong foundation of trust.

Remember, there are other ways to sleep train as well, but let’s stop with the fear mongering about modified / controlled Cry-It-Out methods.

Myth 2: Keeping your baby awake will help them sleep better and longer at night

This one sounds logical on the surface and it feels relatable for us as adults! Unfortunately, overtiredness often has the opposite effect. Hyperarousal is what happens when babies stay up too late. They become over stimulated producing more adrenaline and cortisol leading them to become fussy, irritable and hyper-alert, the worst type of demeaner when trying to get our babies to sleep and stay asleep. This is where wake windows come into play as we use children’s natural sleep pressure to help them fall asleep easily. There is a balance of timing where sleep pressure is built up enough for a great nap or bedtime but not too much that we start veering into overtiredness. More about sleep pressure here. Following a predictable age appropriate nap schedule often results in better nighttime sleep.

So, ignore those family members who say, “napping again?” or “what – he’s going to bed now, come on let him stay up??”

Myth 3: Some babies just don’t need much sleep

Of course there is a spectrum of age appropriate sleep. It’s easy to think your little one is an exception to the rule if they seem fine with fewer hours of sleep. However, research indicates that nearly all infants and young children require the recommended amount of sleep for optimal development. Babies under one year typically need 12–16 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, including naps.

If your baby seems like an exception and is usually sleeping less than 12 hours in a 24 hour period, it might be time to assess their sleep environment, routine and schedule to see if we can increase their total sleep! Chronic sleep deprivation can affect their cognitive development, immune system, and mood. It’s also a good idea to explore other underlying causes like hunger, sleep associations, or discomfort with your pediatrician.

Myth 4: Bed-sharing is the only way to bond with your baby

While some families thrive with bed-sharing, it’s not the only way to bond with your baby. Bonding happens through daily interactions—holding, talking, and playing with your child. If bedsharing works for you and it’s a choice that you made with safety precaution in place – great.

If you are bedsharing out of desperation for sleep but don’t know how to make a change, please know that you do not need to feel pressure to continue and there are ways to transition your baby into their own sleep space safely.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing for the first six months to a year. This approach promotes safety while still allowing you to stay close to your baby.

Bonding is about quality time, not where your baby sleeps.

Myth 5: You’ll never sleep again once you have a baby

This is so disheartening for exhausted parents to hear even it its said as a joke. While it’s true that newborns require frequent feedings and care throughout the night, sleep deprivation doesn’t have to last forever.

With a consistent sleep routine and, if needed, sleep training, many babies can learn to sleep independently within weeks. This doesn’t mean you won’t face occasional challenges ( teething and regressions), but restful nights are achievable for most families. Please if you are in the thick of the newborn stage remember its only a phase and things will improve.

Parenthood doesn’t mean sacrificing sleep forever—it’s about finding a balance that works for you and your child.

Navigating baby sleep can be overwhelming, but understanding the truth behind these common myths can help you make informed decisions for your family. Remember, every baby is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. Trust your instincts, lean on evidence-based practices, and know that better sleep is within reach.

When in doubt, just reach out! I'm happy to debunk or explore any baby sleep tidbit that you keep hearing about.

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